Teddy for Sydney

We sent this teddy bear from Build-a-Bear Workshop and mommy recorded a short message to Sydney so that she might recognize my voice when we meet her. We also included a small photo album, a disposable camera, and some candy and chocolates for the orphanage workers and the children.

Care package sent to Sydney at orphanage today. Finally!

Pictures from Jill's birthday in Dec and of Brandon and Bella by the river

A Wonderfully well written post found on RQ post about what we can expect.

This is not a newborn. It’s a child who already has a personality, one that you get to try to figure out. It’s a child who has been ripped from all she knows: the people who have cared for her and kept her alive, and the language she has been able to understand even if she couldn’t speak it. The food she is used to. The other kids. Her schedule. Her crib. Her cribmate.

It’s all gone, and she’s with these people she’s never seen before and she can’t understand what is being said and the food is different. Scared and grieving does not even begin to describe things. Some babies just completely shut down and appear to be autistic, but after three or four days they start coming around and you begin to see the real child. It can take weeks (or months) for the grieving to stop, but after several days you should begin to see little pieces of their personality. Some children have different survival mechanisms and you’ll immediately see a little bubbly personality, this does not mean there is no grief, it could just mean that their survival instincts are telling them to be cute and lovable.

We all know this transition to a family is for the best in the long run, but all the child knows is how they feel right now, and they are scared and mad and grieving. Some move through it faster than others. Some seem to move through it in China and then backtrack once they are home. Some show their bubbly personality in China and then show the grief in America (or whatever country they are going to).

When you are in China they still hear Chinese in the restaurants and out on the street. And they still get some Chinese food. And the unique smells of China are still there.

But once you are home everything familiar to them is gone. By then you’ve probably switched them to American formula, they likely aren’t getting congee every morning now that it’s not on a buffet anymore, you probably can’t make steamed eggs exactly like they were in China. The smells are different, and no one is speaking Chinese anymore.

They might be able to keep their minds off of that during the day, when they are active and there is much to keep them occupied. But when their mind starts quieting down to go to sleep it all comes back, and there is still grief. So some babies just don’t go to sleep. Combine this with jet lag and it’s really not fun.

There will also be control issues that come up. Even with a 9 or 10 month old baby, they will try to gain control of something, anything, so they don’t feel so out of control. Maybe you can let them have it in some instances, but in others you’ll need to make sure you remain in control. Follow your instincts on this one - they need boundaries in order to feel safe, but letting them have some little piece of control may also help them. How do you know when it’s best to give in and when it’s best to be the parent? You just fly by the seat of your pants and hope you get it right.

My point here is that you have been waiting for this child for a really long time. But she knows nothing about you. She is scared and will act in ways you cannot currently imagine that a little 15 or 20 pound baby could possibly act.

I can remember getting so upset with my big girl when she was a toddler and into everything. I’d just pick her up and take her outside and put her in her swing and push her in it for a really long time. Before long we were both laughing and having fun. It worked for us.

OUR TIMELINE

December 5, 2005: Mailed in our application to Lifelink Adoption Agency, Appleton, WI.

December 12, 2005: Met with our Social Worker, Sara Meyer, for the first time to gather information about the adoption process. Made our decision to adopt from China.

December 29, 2005: 1st "official" interview with social worker.

January 16, 2006: Paul and Jill have their adoption physicals and lab work.

January 18, 2006: Individual interviews with social worker.

February 9, 2006: Home study visit with social worker and final home study interview.

March 3, 2006: Homestudy is finally completed!

March 24, 2006: Attended Adoption Seminar in Madison, WI. We learned a lot and met some wonderful friends! (Laura and Kevin, and Dawn and Lee).

April 18, 2006: Fingerprinted in Milwaukee, WI. We waited for this day for what seemed like forever.

May 18, 2006: Received our I-171H in the mail today, exactly one month after getting fingerprinted.

May 31, 2006: Received our final Wisconsin Seal today for our I-171H.

June 1, 2006: We sent all our paperwork via Fed-EX to Denise Hope in Illinois. She hand-delivered it to the Chinese Consulate. We're gettin' there!

June 8, 2006: Officially sent our completed dossier to Laura Stroup in the Rockford, Ill office.

June 26, 2006: Laura sent our dossier to China today.

July 5, 2006: LID! Our dossier was logged in today> Ahhhh, we can breathe a sigh of relief!

July 27, 2006: Sent letter to Sara (SW) to inform her of our interest in adopting a special needs child. Best decision we could have ever made.

November 20, 2006: Received a call from Sara saying that she had some information about a little girl born with a repaired mild heart condition, Patent Ductus Arterious, repaired cleft lip and unrepaired cleft palate. Would we be interesting in learning more.........? Ahhh, YES!!!!!

December 18, 2006: Letter of Intent to adopt FU Kang Ling sent to China. The countdown starts. As of today, the average time to get travel approval is taking about 100 days from the date the Letter of Intent was sent.

February 27, 2007: Today marks Day 70 since sending our Letter of Intent to adopt Fu Kang Ling. Still waiting for TA (Travel Approval). We hope and pray that it comes within the next 6 weeks. Once we receive our travel approval we will travel within 2-3 weeks.

March 12, 2007: We received our Letter of Seeking Confirmation of Adopter today!!!!

March 14, 2007: Our Letter of Seeking Confirmation of Adopter was sent back to China today.

March 21, 2007: Received an email today from our social worker Sara saying that ISS will not travel in China during 4/8-5/8/07 due to the trade fair in April and the Labor Day holiday in China during the 1st week of May. However, we received TENTATIVE DATES for our travel anyway!!!!! Mary, our guide, will travel with us to Shandong on May 13/14th!!! That's Mother's day! Even though these dates are not set in stone they will be pretty close and once we get our travel approval we can make our travel plans. One HUGE step forward to getting our "Ling-Ling". Come on travel approval...............!

April 4, 2007: We got our Travel Approval today! Our consulate appointment date is set for Monday, May 21st. Here we come Sydney!!!

Poem to a birth mother (Author Unknown)

Beyond your Tears

I imagine you kissed her sweet face so round
And gently placed her where she would be found

I imagine your heartache your pain and your tears
I wish I could show you and soften your fears

I’d show you a girl with hope in her eyes
A girl who loves stories and sweet lullabies

A girl who laughs freely and loves to play
A girl who sings sweetly and dances all day

A girl with a future , so funny and smart
A girl who loves music and reading and art

A girl who I hope has your courage one day
I know it took courage to love and walk away

Her beautiful smile I wish you could see
She looks like you and laughs like me

So, imagine her laughter, imagine her touch
I wish I could show you she’s loved so much

Remember her face, remember that kiss
And when you cry, remember this

Beyond your tears, beyond your pain
Sometimes the sun shines through the rain

And I know that she’ll ask me about you one day
I’ll tell her you loved her and wished she could stay

I’ll help her remember and imagine you too
When she starts to wonder and dream about you


We’ll look at the moon, I’ll give her a kiss
And when she cries I’ll tell her this

Beyond your tears
Beyond your pain
Sometimes the sun
Shines through the rain

Welcome to the story of our family and to our chosen path to Sydney.

We are very excited to be posting from our brand new Blog~Dedicated to our journey to Fu Kang Ling, soon to be known as Sydney Rose. She was born on December 3, 2004 and was found abandoned at the steps of the Jinan Social Welfare Institute, located in Jinan city in Shandong Province, on May 3, 2005. They approximated her to be 5 months old, therefore they gave her a birthdate of December 3, 2004. Of course we will never know for sure when her birthday really is but we will celebrate December 3rd from here on out, and we will also celebrate the day she was adopted.

This is about a family of 3 becoming a family of 4 (or really 5, sorry Bella!). As important as it is to tell our family and friends about our long-awaited journey to get our daughter, it is even more exciting to share with you the experiences of Brandon getting a baby sister. OK, OK, so maybe he would have preferred a brother, however we believe he will be crazy in love with his little sister and she is going to be one lucky little girl to get such an amazing big brother.

We cannot wait to share with you all our fun, crazy, exhausting, and unbelievably lucky days to come with our newest addition, Sydney Rose Geroux.